Giddy

Ok, the interview has finally ended. It lasted nearly an hour. Other than the usual introduction from both sides, they bombarded me with scenarios. Wah~~~ 🤯 my brains are fried through and through. I tried to squeeze all my brain juice out. Seriously, as if normal interviews are not stressful enough, this kinda brainstorming session is murderous. I believe millions of my brain cells were killed during the past hour. Not sure how it went. Not sure where it is going. I am dead beat now.

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Moody

I am on my way to an interview. But I don’t feel like going. When I saw the job description sent by the agent after the interview has been fixed, I kinda wanna tell her to cancel it, as I feel I am not up to it. I have brief experience as a PA. Somehow this position seems it needs someone very experienced. Sigh. But I can’t tell the agent to cancel it. It doesn’t look good, does it? So, I am dragging myself to the interview. Not hopeful. Just doing what I am supposed to do since I have agreed to it in the first place. 😔

A Demoralising Day

I went for two interviews today, and I am totally drained. No joke.

The one in the morning was a group interview. I was told to block out time from 9.30am to 12 noon. I was stunned when I reached there. There were like a whole class of candidates in the room. Alright, to be exact, there were 18 candidates and the rest were the staffs. Unbelievable, right?

So, before the actual interview session, everyone was socialising around. By socialising, I really meant self-promoting/self-advertising. Well, I managed to promote myself to about four elders. They looked like they are in their fifties.

Then came the introduction and list of activities. We were asked to do QR scan, and from a list of adjectives, we were to choose five which described us. My result was Pear-Orange-Lemon. (There were only four fruit types, and I actually got three out of them.) Well, the result says,

“You are a Governor.

You are direct, friendly, prefer to be informal, and can be enthusiastic and somewhat chatty. You use your excellent communication skills to influence people with your knowledge of facts and your ability to analyse people and situations.

You desire social acceptance and quality of work.

Recommended function/industry of work:

People-oriented functions in all the industries.”

Alright. I like the interpretation part, but not the recommended function/industry. I really wish to get a job whereby I do not have to face/interact with people. Why? I am tired of entertaining people. Especially pretentious and toxic people.

Then, we were asked to get into groups of four or five, to categorise the items on the table into four groups. When I went to get the paper and pen, I was given a mission. (They asked one representative from each group to get paper and pen from one of the staffs.) When all the representatives of the different groups were there, we were given a slip that said, “You are the devil’s advocate. You are to raise objections to your teammates at least four times.” Damn. Obviously, I failed. I could only object…I think…two times? I am such a yes person. 😔

Anyway, the next activity on the list was to group ourselves again, according the colour marked on our name sticker (given to us at the very beginning). The relevant staffs were sitting in with us, to ask us questions, as well as to answer our questions. Well, there were three of them in my group, and I especially dislike one of them. She looked and behaved as if she was…an elite. You know what I mean. Well, the information given was not detailed, and did not make me any more interested in the job than I was in the beginning. Actually, it actually made me less interested in the job.

Lastly, we had to do a written test. The question I chose to answer was to describe a situation when I had to move out of my comfort zone. Of course, being as creative as I am, I made up a story. In my real life experience, though there were bound to have such situations, I simply could not recall any. Creating one would be faster. After submission, we could leave. And, to wait for the call. As usual.

I walked to the nearby malls to have my lunch, before going to the next venue. I had actually wanted to have Long John Silvers. It was my all-time favourite since my secondary school years. Then, when I finally found it, I looked at the menu and prices, I turned and walked away. The price has gone up to a level where I no longer think it is worth it. So, I went to McDonald’s. Value meal. I spent an hour there, then proceeded to my second interview, a few stations away. The company is situated about 10-minute walk away from the station. But there is no underground pathway linking to it. The extremely hot weather was a killer. When I reached the reception, I was enraged 😡. Yes, totally on fire. It could be due to the taxing morning interview session, could be the devilish weather, or could simply be the hassle of having to attend interviews. Yes, I hate to go through this process of being interviewed. I have been going to interviews for the past few months. Almost every week, I had one or two to attend and prepare for. Wah!!! Seriously, and there is not a single firm who wants to hire me. Not yet. 😔 😔 😔

So, with the fire burning in me, I was less nervous at the second interview. Two interviewers, one HR specialist, the other was the hiring manager. It took only half an hour, and we were done. I did not have high hopes for it to be a success take. No idea why, but I am not optimistic about it.

Now finally reached home, I am so dead and depressed. How I hate my life. I do not understand why my work life is as miserable. I simply want to get just a job and work. I am not ambitious. I never wanna get promoted or snatch anyone’s job. I have always been doing my job well and even more, beyond my own set of responsibilities. I have always been nice, or I tried to be. Why am I always being mistreated? Why am I always not chosen for a suitable job? (Perhaps there is none.) Why am I always trying and trying, failing and failing, each and every time? It is really frustrating and demoralising.

Can I ever get employed again? 😔