Tag: Job

Feeling Lousy About Myself

This is my 4th week on the job. I don’t feel good about myself. I feel that I don’t know what my superior wants. The kind of Excel thingy she’s asking for, I’m not sure if I know how to do it. She has been patient so far, guiding me along. But I’m not quite sure when she’ll just give up and decide that I’m not up to their expectations. Sigh. It’s really superb busy on the job. And I don’t have the mental strength to handle and focus. I think age has caught up and I’m really not as good as I used to be. I guess I better get a much junior role. Something not as demanding, something I can really stay till I retire.

Crazy Director. Big-Mouth Co-Workers.

Last Thursday, I got screamed at by the crazy director, just because her dog did not return in 2 hours’ time after grooming session. I was pissed and insulted by her offensive accusations, so I told the Admin Manager to dismiss me if the director was not satisfied with me, as she was obviously picking on me on every single little thing after that.

During the weekend, the Admin Manager texted me, asking to meet me in the office on Monday morning. I knew what was coming. Anyway, my gastric had been acting up since Thursday night, so on Monday, I applied for sick leave. In the late morning, when I woke up finally, I saw numerous texts from the Admin Manager and the agent. I called the agent first. She then told me that the company intended to terminate my employment. The agent then asked me what had happened. She said they claimed that I did not explain to the director when the incident happened, and that I just kept quiet. I told her I did explain to the director on the phone why the pet grooming session took more than 2 hours, but she hung up on me, and sent me voice messages screaming at me. I find that unacceptable.

So, after my phone call with the agent, I called the Admin Manager. But she was not free, and called me back 2 hours later. So, she tried to find some nice words to terminate my employment. But I did not care about how she wanted to put it in words. I was only concerned about how it was going to end, and my agreement with the agency. I was not supposed to resign, based on the agreement. So, when the Admin Manager gave me the 2 options – to resign on my own without the need to give any notice, or to be terminated with 2 weeks’ notice, I opted for the latter. Anyway, for the 2 weeks’ notice, I just had to work from home, without having to be in touch with the crazy director anymore. Anything that regards her, I just have to go through the Admin Manager. That is the best arrangement thus far. I certainly do not want to have anything more to do with that crazy woman.

Since they are the ones who terminated my service, and since I was verbally abused by the crazy woman, they should know what to expect from me for the last 2 weeks. Yet, they still date to talk bad about me behind my back. They were saying that I did not do my job with regards to the domestic helper application, that it was my job but the Admin Manager had to do it. How would I know what they want if they do not have a guideline for me? When they called me and told me what they wanted to know from the maid agency, I sent an email to the agency with all their concerns, and copied the 2 big-mouth busybodies. What more do they want that they had to talk bad about me? But they have no idea that I would get to hear of it.

Seriously, I do not feel good after hearing what they said about me. But I told myself not to be bothered by it. After all, there is only 1 week left for me in this company. After that, after I get all my pay, I will end all contacts with each and every one of them in this bloody company.

Work Under A Contract

It’s frustrating enough to work with bosses who do not speak their minds and do not even communicate with each other, in the end, those working with them have to keep guessing what they really want.

What’s even more annoying is to have a coworker who, be it intentionally or unintentionally, gives you the wrong information or instructions which in turn gets you into trouble.

Of course, the victims shouldn’t have trusted this kinda co-workers blindly in the first place. However, it’s normal for newcomers to ask the old birds on the usual procedures and process.

I’m working with a bunch of cunning foxes and poisonous snakes. It’s really exhausting. It’s bad enough to have to work for this kinda weird bosses, and to have to work with such people of low ethics, it’s draining me.

I don’t know how much longer I can survive in this job, I only hope I will be spared from penalising from the agency for not able to hold the job for 3 months.

Endless Complaints

Seriously, I don’t know about others, but I can’t stand this type of people – Complainers.

They can complain literally about anything and everything. The moment they start talking, it’s either complaining, or nonsensical talking. I’m totally fine with causal chats and occasional complaints about work. It’s normal. However, if someone keeps on complaining all day long about this and that, and it’s purely complaints with no constructive solutions to improve on the situation, it really simply makes the whole process toxic.

For me, I don’t really like to say much. If you want to do it, do it. If you don’t want to do it, just say so. If you agree to do something l, yet keep on complaining and nagging nonstop, it’s really pointless. And if you agree to do something, you gotta try harder to accomplish the mission, instead of just putting up an act and in the end, had nothing done. It’s not only a waste of others’ time, delaying others’ schedule, it doesn’t reflect well on yourself, too.

Maybe it’s just me. When I accept a job, no matter how difficult I find it to be, I’ll try to complete it, even if I have to look for help here and there, and complete it well. Even if I do complain, it’s a one-time thingy, a spontaneous thingy, or I just come here to write it out. Writing it out is my way of releasing my frustration. Perhaps some people find complaining to others as the way of releasing their frustrations, however, there’s always a limit to everything. There’s just so much you can say. There’s just so much someone can take it from you.

It’s exhausting enough in my job, having to deal with the boss’ family from the 80-something granny to the 7-year-old kiddo. I don’t have the energy to handle the toxic trash from other coworkers.

Sigh.

Patience Training

I suppose this job is an opportunity for me to train up my patience and tolerance.

I have never had patience with anyone, not even my dearest mom. I am always short-fused, easily irritated and annoyed. Yet, in this job, I have to face a mister who is extremely neat and tidy and expects the same of me in his household aspect; a mistress who has anxiety and anger issues, and expects me to work 24/7; a boy who has Tourette’s syndrome and is always running to his mom whenever things don’t go his way; a puppy who is always high and disturbing to get your attention; and a granny who is always watching me like a hawk.

I feel drained every single night after work, and I have no energy to indulge in my dramas. Every night, after my shower, I almost immediately fell into coma. My dark circles appeared just after 1 week of working in this job. My goodness. 

I don’t know what state I will end up in after 3 months, at the end of my bond with the recruitment agency. Most probably, I will be so haggard. Just after the first day of work, I had had rashes on my legs, from the dog’s lickings. He licked my legs, and even though I was wearing stockings, which I think was worse, as the saliva actually stayed on my skin with the stockings close to my skin and seriously, I got big red itchy bumps. I didn’t know I am allergic to dogs before this. At least, I wasn’t allergic to miniature schnauzers. 

After my first weekend, I got swollen and seriously-bruised legs and ankles from playing soccer with the boy. His kicks were so horribly hard, and his shots almost always hit my legs. After 3 hours of playing with him, I got painfully swollen legs for a week. 

On my very first weekend, I got asked to go back to work for my half-day on Saturday at the very last minute,  due to the heavy rain and their change of plans. I was supposed to have my half-day on the Sunday. On my second weekend, I asked on Saturday noon what time I would have to report to work the next day, only to get the reply from the mistress to be there by 2.30pm. And on the next day, when I was all ready to leave home for work, I got a text from her to be there at 3.30pm. This is unacceptable. 

I am always on my toes all day long literally. I will not be surprised if I end up having a nervous breakdown at the end of the tenure. 

Even if you are that damn rich, you shouldn’t treat your employees like slaves. I am working for you, but I am still another human-being, after all. It is really not right to treat another person like that. 

I feel really weary. I am not complaining. I still remember how much I had wanted this job. I still remember swearing that I will cherish this job. However, if this job is detrimental to my health, physically and mentally, I guess I just have to give it up. 

The Longest And Hardest Week In 2020

You know when it is the most unbearable period of my life in 2020 thus far? It is this exact moment.

Ever since I tendered my resignation on last Monday, I have been diligently and earnestly counting down to my last day with this trashy company. Every single morning (less the weekends), I found it extremely torturous to wake up for work. And for this week Tuesday, I actually woke up thinking it was Wednesday. And every single day, I am counting down. This morning, I woke up and realized I would need to endure for another two days…and it did not get better. Two days!! Another morning of waking up before the sun rises!! I am so sick and tired of working here at this damn place!!

I know, if I encounter another tough challenge in time to come, I will find it another torture, and most probably it will be more challenging than what I am going through now. But as of now, this is the worst moment that I am going through, at least for this year. Alright…I know the year has just begun…Well, you know what I mean.

It is just one week away to Chinese New Year. I really need this one week’s break and rest before the new year starts. I definitely do not wish to bring my unhappiness and sick body into another year. I want to be happy and healthy. So this coming one week after I leave this damn place, I am going to prepare myself for the lunar new year, mind and body.

Please bless me with a smooth exit from this company, and a new beginning to a fabulous new year. Thank you.

Super Ulu Place To Work At

This is the ulu-est place I have ever worked in, in my 18 years of working life.

Look, there is hardly a soul.

This is the most beautiful picture I can take here.

Thank god I am leaving this hellish place the end of the week. I will never ever accept a job at this venue again.

I Got Complained

Some people may think that by making a complaint against another coworker, they will get what they want. But it does not happen in my case. That Japanese fella complained about me not going back to the other office, not being able to contact me, to my Admin HOD. Really? Do phones and emails not exist in his planet? Wtf?? And the Admin HOD seriously thinks that she is the discipline mistress and I am the student. Fancy raising her voice at me. Come on. Even though I report to work to this office, it does not mean I am not working.

Seriously, I feel like a student, working here. Having to clock in and out is already annoying enough for a working adult. I do not report to work late or knock off early. I even report to work much earlier than required. But I just hate the tracking system. This is not the only thing I hate about this employment.

The office I have to report to is so out of the way. I have to take the train then a bus. Do you know how much time is wasted in waiting and transferring?

The working hours here is 4 hours more per week than normal, or at least, than all previous jobs I had. That means I have to wake up an hour earlier. In addition to the longer journey I have to take to work, it means I spend 3 extra hours each day on work or commuting to work.

In my very first week, one of the EAs already put up stunts and has been playing politics with me since then. She roped in her kaki from HR, who gives me the stare whenever she sees me.

There are so bloody hell many forms involved and the processing part is the killer. One form has to go through so many departments for approval. One expense claim takes 2 months to process. The finance department keeps on returning claim forms to be resubmitted over and over again. Claims hardly get reimbursed. The engineering secretaries sit on requests and one request for equipment or access can hang in the air for months. They do not answer your calls, or reply to your emails, and are always not at their desks. No matter how I follow up, requests do not get started from their end, which means the requests can never get fulfilled. A lot of pushing and following up and chasing which is seriously pointless.

Those engineers, especially the Indians and Japanese, think they are wonders and that I, being the team’s secretary, have to give whatever they request for. One even said, “I believe my value is more than that (referring to the difference in airfare)” Seriously, I do not give a damn. In my eyes, he is of no value to me, in fact, he is a liability because he exhausts my time.

That Japanese fella who complained about me to the Admin HOD, really thinks he is my boss. Though I support the whole team of 150 creatures, it does not mean I have 150 bosses. Hmm? Idiotic.

There are endless of requests and complaints every single day from these creatures that I can not tolerate a moment more. I am tendering my resignation this Friday, since the agreement with the agency is after 60 days into the employment then can I resign from the job. The agent told me I can only resign after this Friday. But after manually counting, I confirmed I can tender on Friday itself as Thursday is the 60th day.

Frustration. Annoyance. Irritation. Anger. This is another job which drives me crazy. I do not know what job I can fit in. I just know that unreasonable and arrogant people make my days tougher than necessary. How much I loathe these idiots.

May I be blessed with a good job with no idiots to ruin my days.

I Hate My Job

This job requires me to:

  1. Beg people to let out a meeting room they have booked well in advance just because our project team’s events are the “most important” and “they should give in to us”
  2. Be the first to move into a crappy temporary office but the last to have the necessary equipment for work
  3. Be treated less than a hundredth of an equal just because I am a secretary or a woman
  4. Chase every other department every single day because I am being chased at for the stuffs I have no control over or am not supposed to complete the full mission on my own

These will be my reasons for resigning in a month’s time. In just four weeks, I

  1. Have had a horrible fever and gastric attack
  2. Have been having recurring flu
  3. Have felt worse than I had felt when I was a receptionist – a position which everyone simply thinks lowly of and gives disdainful looks at, or worse, never even acknowledge the existence of that human being
  4. Have seen more types of bad coworkers or simply human beings
  5. Simply have had enough

Perhaps, I just hate to work. That is why none of the jobs seemed good enough or let me be happy. I am weary of handling all these brats. I am drained after all these weeks of fever and flu. I really need a break.

Wrong Frequency

It was the second time I saw my PM that I decided that I would definitely leave after the two-month minimum requirement is up.

CC was giving me some tasks, then as PM walked past, CC asked him about some details. The way PM looked at me was so disdainful. You know the way people looked at others up and down several times, as if judging them in a negative way. Well, I thought it was just me being over-sensitive. Then, after some time, PM wanted to make a scan of some documents but did not know how. He asked me. I told him we were unable to scan to PC, but we’re able to scan to email. He then said that sending to email does not work, as the other party could not open the file, that was why he needed to print it out then scan it back to himself then email to that party. Now, I wondered why. I thought scan to PC and scan to email is similar. Why would one file be readable and the other not? I suggested him scanning to my email and I try to open the file. He became frustrated, as if I was dumb and not understanding what he was saying. Anyway, I said I would ask the IT guy over to assist. So, after around 15 minutes, the IT guy came, and I explained to him the issue. He tried to push it away, saying it was the problem with the other party’s network/computer. Nonetheless, I asked him to explain to PM. I went through the whole process with them. As simple as I was thinking, scan to email and voila! The file opened. 😏 The IT guy must have thought I was an idiot, too.

Well, it does not matter if other coworkers do not like me or try to make work process difficult for me. But it definitely does matter if my team leader does not like me. It was just my first day at the new temporary office. I foresee more challenging days ahead for the rest of the two months I have to endure before I can leave. Sigh.

Why am I encountering all these sh*t?? I really just want a job and really just want to do my job well. It is annoying that life simply wants to play you.

Changes In Weeks

A lot of things happened since my last post. Sigh.

My Taiwan trip was ruined because I caught flu virus from Ms. Peaceful, and spent the entire week (meant to be spent in Taiwan) recovering at home from the deadly fever. As I am allergic to all medicines for fever, I could only try to reduce the temperature with ice applications. My gastric acted up, I vomited for two days, and I could not take in more than a few sips of water. That made my fever harder to subside. I became so grumpy and resentful for the fact that I got ill because I came to work for this irksome company. If I did not accept this job offer, none of these would have happened. I reckon.

Last week, Ms. PA, who is acting as my supervisor, extended my probation for a month. During the meeting, she told me (and showed me) the review she gave me. Negative. I was so damn pissed. Because she only listed the things she perceived. Before this review, she had spoken to me once, a few weeks ago, on my attitude. True. My attitude was not good, as I am very resentful at work, and that made me unwilling to put in more efforts than I thought I should. But after that talk, I tried, and changed, and did whatever tasks she gave me the best I could. These were not taken into account for my review. Those examples that she had listed for me to improve on, were not true either. Nonetheless, I did not bother to argue with her. I simply went along with it, took another two days of sick leave, then made up my mind to resign the next day I returned to work. I did not bother to say anything to the HR Director this time round. Seriously, in all the years I have been working, I have never suffered as much humiliations as I have suffered here. No one company ever judged my capabilities just after two weeks I joined. No one company ever extended my probation or refused to confirm my probation. I have never approached the HR as much in my previous employments as I have done here in mere less than 3 months. I felt that I have had enough. More than enough. Especially since my gastric keeps on acting up these days. I believe my body is giving me signals. Sigh. So, I tendered my resignation last week. I requested to give a week’s notice, instead of the two weeks stated in my job offer letter, to which the HR Director agreed. So, tomorrow will be my last day at work in this horrible place. I have never felt as relieved in such a long time. Immediately after I officially rendered my resignation, I felt the “free” feeling like never before. So happy. So peaceful.

This morning, I went to an interview. Hopefully, I am selected. I did not feel so good during the interview, as the HR Manager kept asking me why I was interested in the role, which was kinda different from what I had been doing. Not sure if they would select me, though my intention is to really learn something new from this opportunity. If I can perform well, I do not see why I cannot change path and progress from there. People are just sceptical and think that jobseekers are simply desperate for a job and grab whatever that comes their way. Maybe it is true for some. But not for all. For me, I must believe that I am up to it, then will I give it a try. I do not wanna waste others’ time, as well as mine.

I took half day’s leave off work today for the interview, and have been waiting for 2.5 hours in McDonald’s now. Haha. Nowhere to go. Well, it just crossed my mind that I could have made my way to the temple just now. Sigh. Too late. Half an hour to go before I go in to hell for another 4 hours.

Please bless me that I get selected for the job I went for the interview this morning, and that everything will be smooth for me for the rest of the day. Thank you.

No Mood

I totally do not feel like going to work today. I just had had another gastric attack over the past weekend. I know it is due to my unhappiness at work. I am mentally and emotionally drained. No mood. No motivation. No wish to put in any more efforts for this company anymore. It really sucks to be working under that kinda shallow and indecisive boss, and to be working with that kinda god-knows-how-he-got-into-that-position CFO. Tsk. Frustrating. I have no idea how much longer I can put up with this. The best solution is of course getting another job and leave this damn company. But the economy and job market has slowed down. If I quit now, most probably I will be unemployed for months.

So damn pissed with my life. I must have done terrible things to people in my past life, that is why I am suffering like this in this lifetime. Sigh. I do not know what I can do to make up for the sins I have had done. But I need to get out of this job. Fast.

Please bless me with a new job the soonest. Thank you.